Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Rosaries Before Brosaries

Alright, kiddos. Let's get one thing straight. ROSARIES ARE PRAYER TOOLS. Who the hell started this damn trend with wearing rosaries as necklaces? They are not a fashion statement, nor are they jewelry.  Do you even know what they mean? This is not the same thing as a crucifix necklace you got at your first communion.  Every part of a rosary has a significance.  Just because you have a cross hanging from your person does not mean you are "Down with Jesus".  If you have to announce that you are down with the Lord, you are not. In fact rosaries are kinda more of a "Mary is my homegirl" type deal. (one day I will get into another conversation I witnessed about how Mary, mother of God and Mary Magdalene are the same person and that Jesus' mom was a whore, and that's how he was born without a real dad....yes, this is real life)

My main gripe with people wearing rosaries as necklaces, is that they really aren't even rosaries from your local catholic mission store--they're from legitimate retail stores.  Some low-grade fashion designer who got kicked out of FIDM sat there and thought, "man, what a great piece to sell to those silly religious folks".  The worst part is when I comment on their fashion rosary, and the reply I get is, "what's a rosary?" Twat alert. 

What really breaks my heart is that one of my favorite fashion blogs actually put a rosary necklace as a Christmas wish list. Oh, wait, it was something retardedly creative called a "dagger necklace".  Homie, it is separated into 5 parts of 10 beads and the dagger happens to have a cross-like handle.  Stores like Claire's sells this nonsense.  REALLY.  The target demographic is like 10-12 year old girls.  What the hell are you teaching them? I mean it was cute when a toddler saw a rosary and put it on as  necklace.  They didn't know any better, but really, someone older than that age should. 

It's so frustrating that there are these asinine fashion statements that are basically there to take away the meaning of something that means so much to us.  My mom's side of the family is very Marist (that's Catholics who LOVE Mary, for you n00bs), so we go all over the world and buy rosaries from different countries, and praying the rosary is the first thing all of the women in my family have done when they find out they are preggos.  As much as I like to be a rebel, I really enjoy the meaning of the rosary.  Granted, I cannot for the life of me recite the mysteries of the rosaries by heart, but the amount of faith and patience that it takes to pray the rosary deserves better than some hipster kids trying to be different. You're not. They are sold at mainstream stores like Armani Exchange and Neiman Marcus.  Here are some of the worse offenders:

I mean really, how does this even look remotely cool?  These two dudes aren't even hipstery.

What I'm really trying to get at is that there is a severe lack of respect from pop culture.  As Catholics, we don't really ask for much from society except the major holidays off, an extended lunch break to go to mass on a Holy day of obligation, and maybe putting up a nativity set at work.  Is it too much to ask someone not to spend their money on something disrespectful? This whole wearing a rosary thing as a fashion piece is just crossing the line.  No one walks around wearing a Star of David when they're not Jewish, so why are non-Catholics wearing our rosary? It's not even meant to be worn.

If you want to punch someone in the babymaker every time you see a douche wearing a rosary as a necklace, then you understand my #catholicgirlproblems

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